when forever starts to end

I'm totally pissed off! I'm so damn confused on my actions this past few days. I don't know where to set my mind. I don’t know if it is better for me to hold on or to let go. Today, we argue again. Arguing things that could mess up everything we had. I can’t afford to lose him ‘coz he means so much to me and made so much to remember. I miss him so much and if only I could pick him up from my mind and hug him for real then I would. I don’t know why am I acting like this, acting as if we have shared so much when he was still here. He has a point when he says, “Bat ka ba ganyan? Bakit nung nandyan ako naging sweet ba tayo?.” This question still haunts me until now. I’m hurt! Yes, I am. I never thought this kind of question would be thrown out to me coming straight from him. Right after hearing those words from him I wanted to cry coz I feel pain but no I won’t and I must not because I am trying to train my heart to be tough. I’m trying to be brave.

I’m torn between two option either hold on or let go.

If I hold on things would never be the same again coz doubt still prevails in me and still it’s useless but if I won’t life for me would be different. Guess I already built my world around him. Haha!

At this very moment of time upon assessing myself, the situation and our relationship I come up into a decision of letting go. Yes, I think it’s time for us to let go and try to move on. Moving on doesn’t always means letting go of what you have with or without reasons but rather choosing what is supposed to be left just to save yourself from frustration and heartaches.